I am just in the best mood ever. My hair is shiny, my skin is SO clear, my baby is totally cute and people stop me and say how cute she is and I say "She looks just like her father" which is true (she looks like a pretty version of The Osborn!) and then they say how Adhra looks just like me (such a pretty girl, they say!) which is also true - and it's Christmas and the future goes on for years and years and I suppose I've realised I just don't need to take crap from anybody - I am better than this. I'm smart and funny and OK looking and I have a great wardrobe and a good heart and I have years and years ahead of me - years. My thighs could be thinner and my boobs could be bigger (but I went up a cup size!) and well, my stomach, still a work in progress post parasite explosion...

Oh! And it finally started to snow here!

Which is lucky coz I told Adhra it would only snow if she was good. I probably should stop using threats I can't control. I'm just lucky it worked out this time.

This is so sad - and I thought Adhra runs wild. Suddenly her tantrums and crazy regression mania seem kinda... I'm not so sure if boring or relieving is the word. Maybe normal is the right one. She's such a beastie. I feel bad for not just the kid but the mother, too. Like, if things get to that point... you must just be totally overwhelmed and not know what to do or whatever. It's not easy being someones mother --- I think people need a lot of help.  People say a lot when they read stuff like this "some people should never have children"... I don't think that's helpful tho. I mean, that mom is pretty young and her husband is in jail! If Harry was in jail that would be AWFUL! I don't even like him working long shifts! If he was in jail I'd just die. I just think people like that need a lot of help because when you're young and whatever --- I don't know. She's obviously not coping with what's going on. I feel bad for her. I know how that feels not to feel you're coping or to feel like a bad mother --- and wow, you don't get much worse than your FOUR YEAR OLD stealing beer and presents and wandering the streets at like 1am. I mean, imagine how bad you'd feel if that was your kid. He could have been KILLED. Seriously. You'd just be thinking how your kid could be dead now. DEAD. I mean I still feel guilty coz Adhra's finger got caught when I closed a draw last week (was so awful, I thought it was broken but it wasn't, just bruised and she screamed like crazy and was so upset and I was so upset and the worst thing was as soon as it happened I yelled at her coz I was so in shock and screamed - "I told you not to put her hands in there!" as if I was mad at her, but it was just all that adrenaline and you're rushing to do something and the beastie wants in and then you slam the draw shut and suddenly there's hysteria - was seriously awful - my poor baby cried so much and you feel SO BAD because you just closed a draw on her damn hand! And you cry and cry because you feel so guilty and when you take them to the doctor you're so guilty and you think everyone will blame yoU!!! and you're a terrible mother and then you see their little bruised fingers and feel so bad even tho it was an accident!!!) and so wow, if my kid was found wandering the streets all crazy like... I don't know... I'd feel so bad. It's so awful! I just think that mother must have a life totally out of control and how horrible if everything was so bad you were that bad a mother. You'd be devestated. That's her kid! He could have died!